The Emptiness that Burns

(written February 7, 2008)

The hard edge of life is getting to me again
Tired muscles hide what was once a long goodbye
Language is a barrier I can't seem to breach
So I lie with my words
I don't practice what I preach

I say I'm an open book, but see, you have to pry
And did I say it would be easy?
Well, that was just a lie.

I tell you what you want to hear
What I want to hear too,
But I know it from the truth

I'm not as well as I pretend to be
But I'm not the despondent mess I remember
Or the manic idiot dressed for surrender
So maybe I'm not as bad as I've been

Does that make it less of a concern
When I say, I want to die?

Sometimes I think I am a Sally
Pinned to the wall by love
Like an especially interesting bug
And that tears at me, until her words are mine
And I can't remember which of us has
The emptiness that burns.