A Child of Mine

Little lives are entrusted to my care
But I can't even take care of me.

As I sit and watch those lives,
Entrusted to my care,
I can't help but want
Better for them than what I've had.

I want my children to know
A better life than mine
And believing that impossible--
No one's life is easy--
I would rather just be alone.

Alone to storm the years, the fears
But at times alone just means lonley
So I dream of a boy, a little Elijah boy,
I don't know if he is mine--
A child of mine would require a sacrifice of sanity
A host of pills to replace the ones I already take

So I try not to dream of the future
Of maybes and what if's
It isn't healthy, it isn't living in the now.
The present is all anyone ever has
So I try to be content with my uncertainty

And day after day,
I watch those little lives unfold.