Penned

written in 2007

It's not the lies we tell ourselves that get us in trouble, it's the lies we believe. Sugar-coated, sticky sweet lies that drip off your tongue like honey. Thick and warm, these lies give birth to a whole new way of thinking. Then, before you know it, you can't tell the truth from the lies you made your truth. These lies live and breathe, taking on forms so grotesque that you begin to believe you must be wrong some how to have created them. Literally made wrong. Dysfunctional. Perhaps, even, insane. These lies spawn a whole new reality featuring you as the worst thing you can imagine. You pin the whole of wrongness to the front of your chest, attached to the heart, puncturing lungs to get there til you're broken in mind and body. Soon your spirit follows. You believe that you are the monster you've painted yourself. You come to believe that you are worthless. That life can't get any worse and yet you know that each minute it does. The next moment drags into the next. And you just can't get out of the reality that you've created. You can't get out of your head long enough to think. You're stuck. Pinned. Penned.