My Name

I'm seeing shadows again
Hearing my name when no one's around
Wishing it were you,
Instead of these demons that haunt me.
But you've left me.

I curl up in bed and will myself
To sleep sometimes,
When there's nothing else to do.

Yet, sometimes, I feel like even my depression
Has left me, but it isn't a good feeling.
It's an empty, hollow space that has
Depression's mark all over it.

I'd rather feel something.

Feel that first bright burn of love, or hurt
Feel the way a child can sneak into your heart,
And, oh so slowly, back out again as you grow apart.
I suppose it's the same for lovers.

Sometimes I think my feelings have left me,
As you did--
To nothingness.

I think that part, that numb, nothing part--
I think that's when I start to see shadows again
To hear my name in a voice
Seldom used.